If Rajinikanth was a software engineer... :)

I know that there is no shortage of Rajinikanth jokes, but I couldn't stop myself after reading this post. So here it goes.

If Rajinikanth was a software engineer...

1. Compilers don’t warn Rajinikanth. Rajinikanth warns compilers.
2. Rajinikanth writes directly in binary. He then writes the source code as a documentation for other developers.
3. Rajinikanth can derive private key by just looking at the public key.
4. All pointers point to Rajinikanth.
5. Rajinikanth's coding was slowed down by the speed of the interface between his keyboard and his computer.
6. When Google gets overloaded with search queries, Rajinikanth is called in to handle queries by hand.
7. Rajinikanth's keyboard has only two keys: 1 and 0.
8. When Graham Bell invented the telephone, he saw a missed call from Rajinikanth.
9. Rajinikanth's watch displays seconds since January 1st, 1970. He is never late.
10. Rajinikanth can see private members of a class.
11. Rajinikanth's calculator:
    
    Image Source
12. Finally, if Rajinikanth was a software engineer, then we all (software engineers) would have been unemployed.

Some of things above would be a figment of my imagination, but many others have been shamelessly copied from here, here and here by replacing the name Jeff Dean.

If you can think of something creative put it in the comments and they will make it to the list. :)